ORIGINAL

The Harsh Reality of Abortion

2010-08-25T13:44:00.002-07:00

The Death Rate of people world wide is two per second, making 120 a minute, 7200 an hour, and approximately 172800 on any given day. The death rate caused by abortion world wide on average, kills 115,000 per day, and that's a staggering 42 Million per year! That's practically the same, as utterly destroying Argentina one year, Spain the next year, Kenya, Ukraine, and so on.

The number of Abortions in New Zealand, is 18,000 per year. My Pro-life stance, is in no way religious, it's mere care, and common sense. However, I do have the opinion that Humans are formed at conception, not birth. And so, to abort (terminate pregnancy as helpful health consultants will refer to it as), your baby, is to kill/murder. Now the terrible thing is, many of the abortions taking place are from the influence of the 'helpful health consultant', who states that their "unwanted piece of tissue" is of no consequence, it is simply an annoyance, and thus they shall remove it. The girl is told that its quick and painless. But what the don't tell, is the mental side effects.. The Psychological damage it does to the girl, after it happens, not to mention the ongoing stress and worry.

Imagine. You're in trouble. You're pregnant. You're boyfriend either forgets you, or tells you to get it dealt with. A knowledgeable Doctor/nurse tells you that you can get an abortion, and no one will ever know. You're worried about your school mates finding out, your parents, your life.

You take the easy option.

This list of events, is a basic run through, of what can, and usually does happen. Makes me wonder.. The people carrying out the abortion know exactly what's going on the whole time, which makes it worse. There must be some massive brain washing for themselves, honestly how can anyone in their right mind knowingly murder a child? Its sadistic. Can you imagine the government standing by and watching some cult sacrificing babies as part of their satanic practice?

Then why.. Why does everyone, excluding those brave and courageous enough to stand up and fight for what they believe, why do the larger percentage of 'people' simply stand and watch murder continuing...

In every case, every case, abortion should be completely banned.

The Quest of the Apprentice

2010-04-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

warning: This story is not for the faint of heart.

part 7...

The possibility that, hate, fear, love, and courage were all mixed in to one grey emotion made the outcome of the battle that ensued a victory, no one can tell, but what is known is that, as Gera rose holding his wand shoulder high, arm stretched out his eyes shining like dazzling emeralds, the Goblins, with out any doubt, felt sudden fear as if their puny existence in this world would soon come to a bloody end...

The old master was crouching on the ground, waiting for an opportune moment, but Gera lost no time, He rose, and though the Goblins were remarkably taller than him, he still seemed to tower over them with a powerful stance. Before he struck he looked deep into there eyes and calmly said..."you who have wrought evil on the land, shall fade into its boughs and be forgotten". He closed his eyes, he could sense the Goblins running towards him, they were so close in fact, he could feel there disfigured feet on the ground as they made there way to where he was standing. Then, just as they were meters away from him, he opened his eyes suddenly, and spoke but one word, "Merieth!" then closed his eyes.

The tallest Goblin, sword out and snarling like a wild dog, swung his spike of death full speed to Geras neck. But just before it touched his skin, the Goblins sword started fading, it was turning into sand right before his very eyes, but if the Goblin soldier thought it would stop there he was wrong, for in seconds his whole body, clothes daggers and all, had fallen into a pool of sand. However before anything could take place there was a clash of bright blue lightning and the Old master stood up, his mouth opened but no words came out, but there were words in the air, "Oragoth mentai finatai una teragoh", the words stopped. All went black.

"Master?" Gera said as soon as he had regained his mind again, he felt unusually heavy. In the distance he could hear a faint coughing but that was all. It was pitch black, and the air smelt musty and the air was close, something grabbed his leg. It was the Master, "Gera, my young apprentice, I knew what i did would do this to me..."

"What are you speaking of master?" said Gera with a hint of fear in his voice, the master rose slightly, he was on the ground, and breathing heavily, "right now you do not know where we are, so i shall tell you...we are in the Mountain of Goblins...". Gera quivered, again the master spoke, "I knew this would half kill me, teleportation is not on my list of things to die for, however on this occasion it might prove to be my death warrant, such travel weakens the very soul of me, and while i am learned in the dark arts this is one exception and i have to pay the price, you are ready to take this challenge Gera, I could not have chosen a better student. Now go, and may the spirits that have kept life within you guide your steps and give you speed..."

Part 7 ends...

Part 8 coming soon..

2010-03-13T00:27:00.001-08:00

The Illuminati...
Ever heard of the Illuminati? Well its all closer than you expect, so i guess before i go into detail, i should explain what its about.And before i do that, il explain about the "Sub-Conscious".
Your mind is in reality, split up into 3 parts. the sub conscious, the thinking mind, and you instinctive mind (the mind that animals have).Now, when you forget something, chances are when you are asleep you will remember it, and it may or may not mess with you dreams.However, it works in other ways as well. eg. when thinking about something, talking to someone...anything that involves working something outwhich you arnt sure about, sometimes, your sub conscious, (from now on I will use the term SC) mind will be working away linkingup all the patterns creating an image in your mind. This image in turn will reveal what you are thinking about.
So thats explained, so il move onto Symbols and how they connect with us when we are asleep or just day dreaming.
Ever seen the peace symbol, the two fingers sticking up in a v shape? this is a Symbol...just like the hand motion that looks like spidermans handexept put the thumb under your two middle fingers. this symbol, is the sign of the devil, now it may not look like the devil buthow ever you look at it, or what ever you think when you see it, in some way or another it will change the way you see certain things.
Some of you may notice the woman on the Star-bucks coffee cup...strangely enough, she holds her hands in the "sign of the devil" fashion. Again, George Bush, has photos where he is doing the "sign of the devil" and Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and so many more.

OK well the Illuminati is not just symbols, its in speech and music, things like that, e.g.. the famous "Yes we can" that Barack Obama said, (another interesting fact, he said it 6 times...) if you play it backwards, same speed, it says, "Thank you Satan", the worst part is, he got hundreds of thousands of people chanting this over and over again at his speeches... Everyone chanting over and over again..."thank you satan". Most of his speeches played backwards unravel clips from the bible, things like "the son of god will fall" and "our land will be restored to him" and things like that... All have one thing in common...satan...

The Foreign powers use these symbols to control the way we live...in some ways they calm us...

Now, you probably find this all very...shaky, so i will give you some information that you either wont know, (and you probably wont have heard) and most likely will find very hard to believe...hold you breath folks...and fasten your seat belts...

You have all heard about the berlin wall...the cold war...second world war...? well, you haven't heard the truth.

See, many years ago, there was major communism, and after the second/first world war, most people thought "well the german communists have gone so...i guess there is no communists left"...well, let me tell you, the germans could have totally cleaned the allies up...absolutely totaled them, but the foreign powers kept the secrets, and they let the people Bellevue they were free...little did they know that, when the berlin wall came down, that was a total scam, a front, a fabrication of the truth to bend and twist, brainwash the people into thinking that the communists were eradicated and wiped from the earth for many years.

The war against Afghanistan fought by the soviet union lasted for ten years, now when we heard the Afganistans won some said, yay, some said nay, however none of the two parties (happy or not) knew that Afghanistan never actuly won...wait, you're thinking, HUH!???!!!

again, i repeat... the Soviet could have "absolutely totaled them"...one bomb and it would be done...wait on you thinking, a bomb? pah! they wouldn't drop a bomb they learnt that wouldn't happen again at nagasaki...or did they...? well don't you believe it...

All this election rubbish, and believe me, it is rubbish...all this wasting time and money polling booths and fabricated truth...

listen, all the elections are not rigged...they are planned, right from the start of the "campaigning" Barack Obama had already congratulated himself at being the "Puppet on as string"...

You've been HOODWINKED baby...the wool has been right fully and completely pulled over your eyes. The truth has been hidden from your knowledge. There is more to politics than you know. We are not just governed and kept in order...our lives-LIVES are controlled-CONTROLLED!

Well, I have only given you a very very small glimpse of the truth, i have only touched the surface of the detail I could go into...the truth is out there, but what is going to happen? your going to live their way? or your way...

or are you just going to take the highway, and eat what ever fast food they serve you.

Morpheus: "Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix (Illuminati) is. You have to see it for yourself."

Morpheus: The Matrix (Illuminati) is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work... when you go to church... when you pay your taxes. It is the wool that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Morpheus: I imagine that right now, you're feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
Neo: You could say that.
Morpheus: I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that's not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate (Illuminati), Neo?

Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life

Well, thats me, and im done, so now have a good life...whats left of it.

(note from the author) Hi, please dont take the message above the wrong way. All this is is the truth that several believe and of it, you can take what you like. whether or not you accept it, the truth is truth.

Santa :D or serial killer?

2009-12-28T20:43:00.000-08:00

Today we know as our hero (your hero maybe not mine) Santa, father christmas, St. Nicholas...and so on and so forth. But! We never take into account why on earth we brain wash out children into believing in santa...well i dont have any children but thats not the point! or is it? which brings me to the point which i need to bring up...umm...right now i cant think of the important point which means i must assume that it is neither relevant or important. So i shall continue onto the next point which i can't remember either, so il make it up as i go along. We all love santa, ummm, dont we? Or dont we...!? ummm...so anyway AHHH HUH!!! I remember the point!!! here goes...

OK so we know that Santa goes round the world...on a sleigh powered by his 9 reindeer Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and the red nosed Rudolf (red coz he drinks to much). Oh dear so the first mistake il pick up on is that the number of presents Santa would need to take with him would be around 4 and a half billion which i needless say would way one heck of allot. so to visit say 100 houses, climb down the chimneys (if they have chimneys...) and put the prezzies under the tree...would take about...in reality about 5 years, example, he would have to sought through all the presents till he found the right ones...megga time!! OK but lets just say that he had them in the right order...it would take about...2 hours...believe me breaking into or squeezing down a chimney in a house is not fun...so lets say there are around 2.5 million children that he will deliver to, and average it on 2.5 kids per house, that's around 800 million homes ac cross the earth, now most people would imagine he has 24 hours, however he has infact starting on the international dateline moving from different time zones 34 hours to make his way. but add it up which ever way you like, he still has to travel 160 million kilometers in less than 2 days, so traveling at say 99.999% speed of light he would manage to deliver them all in 500 seconds or so which leaves about 30 hours to gobble all the food the children leave him. Now comes the interesting part, because Santa has to move so fast, (and i make reference to a suckumentary on Santa-)

" Traveling at nearly the speed of light makes the problem worse, because Santa gains mass (his kinetic energy adds to his mass, as Einstein’s famous E = mc² attests). Children believe that Santa will easily fit in the chimney, because from their frame of reference, even though Santa is heavier, he has contracted. From Santa’s frame of reference, though, the chimney is narrower than Santa is.

But children need not fear. The theory of relativity assures us that Santa will fit (see figure 4), and their packages will be delivered on time.

Children might also wonder why Santa never seems to age. From year to year, he retains his cherub face and merry laugh, his long white beard and his round belly that jiggles like a bowlfull of jelly. The fact is that for objects traveling at close to the speed of light, time slows down. So, the more packages Santa delivers, the more he’ll travel, and the more he’ll remain the same, carrying on the Christmas tradition for generations of children to come.

Color of Rudolph’s nose:	Red	Yellow	Green	Blue	Violet
Corresponding wavelength (in nanometers):	650	580	550	480	400
Santa’s speed as a percentage of the speed of light (v/c)*:	0	11	17	29	45

Can Santa fit in the chimney if he’s traveling at nearly the speed of light?

To answer that question, we need to talk about two frames of reference: Santa’s and ours. We also need to place two periodically blinking lights, A and B, on the sides of the chimney. These lights will help us and Santa find the edges of the chimney in the darkness and therefore will determine when Santa is right above the chimney, ready to slide in. For Santa to fit into the chimney, his right and left sides need to be between lights A and B when they blink.

Figure 1: If Santa is traveling at normal earthbound speeds, say, 100 km per hour, he sees lights A and B blink at the same time. Just as his left arm touches A, his right arm also touches B; therefore Santa fits in (since Santa is not bigger than the chimney).

Figure 2: If Santa is moving at close to the speed of light, the situation changes. From our frame of reference, according to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Santa’s width contracts and he is narrower than the chimney. Therefore Santa has plenty of space to slide in.

Figure 3: From Santa’s frame of reference, however, the chimney is moving backward and is, in fact, narrower than he is. If Santa were to see A and B blinking at the same time, the chimney would be too narrow for him.

Figure 4: Not to worry. From Santa’s frame of reference, the two lights are not blinking at the same time. As light A blinks, Santa’s left side slips into the chimney. The chimney keeps moving backward as Santa’s body squeezes in, until finally, when light B blinks, Santa’s right side is perfectly aligned with the side of the chimney. Now all of Santa is in.

Illustrations by Tracy Jurinek"

(the quoted text is not my own -follow this link to see the original-

so i guess that really adds it up so il leave it there and wish you a happy new year :D

DONT READ THIS POST!

2009-10-27T23:58:00.000-07:00

OK so what i would like to talk about today is wood, wood chucks, and chucking wood.

Now what we need to take into account is....Wait on, first i will state the question asked by the former Representative of the dictating nest egg, as follows, "How much wood can a Wood Chuck chuck, if a Wood Chuck could chuck wood" well first we need to talk about the name of the Wood Chuck. Well clearly look at the name..."Wood Chuck" well when you read "Wood" you should think clearly that has something to do with what it does, when I say "it" I am referring to the "Wood Chuck". So we know that the "Wood Chuck" has to do with wood, so as a normal and learned person should think when they read the name. Now we come to "Chuck" now quite clearly to "chuck" is to 'hurl' or 'throw' it is a kind of slang but throw it is nevertheless. So as simple as 1 plus 1 equals 3 we add them both together and extract the answer, as follows. Wood plus Chuck is to chuck wood. Because chuck wood sounds to rival Chuck Norris, we need to change it all around and make it Wood Chuck. Now because of its name we can easily see that this creature is known for chucking wood, and because of the fact of its name we can understand it does this everyday of its life minus the days of its life when it was a baby. Now what we need to do is get an average of how long they live which just happens to be 4 years. Now minus the average of days that it was just born which is 16 days we take that to 3 years and 350 days. Now whether or not it is ill the Wood Chuck will still chuck wood, because of when it moves it moves up dust. Now as we know they live in forests and so bits of wood are every where. now the average amount of wood the Wood Chucks chuck each day is 690 now because we are doing math, we will make that 700 just for brains sake. now take the 3 years and 350 days and multiply it by 700...wait before we do that we need to make all the years into days which is 1445 days now we multiply that by the number of bits of wood they throw a day which is 700 and we get 1,011,500 pieces of wood that it chucks in its life. Thus figured out the case of wood chucking by a Wood Chuck I have.

note to the tongue twister Author: YoU jUsT gOt OwNeD...

Now you can call the people with straight jackets... :D!

THE QUEST OF THE APPRENTICE

2009-10-05T23:22:00.000-07:00

Author's note... OK I would just like to say that, the last Quest Of The Apprentice was a bit...uncool, and i would like to say that the next one, which is the one I am about to write, will be soundly read and re-read, yes, I agree with you all, the parts like, eating plums, and also the animal falling into a well and drowning...well, honestly, I'll try and fix it up but hey...after all, this is a true story and its kind of like the Bible, if you edit it or change it much its like...you are condemned for sacrilege...except, the punishment for editing this story is not quite so...high...lol...another quick note is that, a strange gust of wind came and whispered in my ear and told me that people where wondering why i was writing this magical story...well, actually its strange, you see I was talking to this mate of mine, and suddenly this word appeared in the chat panel, the word as you might guess was GOBLINS well I was naturally weirded out no end...nah I'm kidding, actuly I simply asked why the heck he just randomly typed GOBLINS...anyway, his response was that his little bruva Ben (yeah i know you know who Ben is...) yeah his little brother Ben requested that His older brother Jono write GOBLINS...anyway, it turns out that we had been talking about blogs, so i told this lil Ben that I would write a series of stories on my blog, based on the subject of GOBLINS...so there we go...Ben I hope ur all good with that mate...lol...have fun reading folks.

warning: This story is not for the faint of heart.

The rain was tearing down out of the sky in the morning when they woke up...It was so drenching that even as the Master peered out of the hole in the tree, he remarked that "a shower would not be necessary after such a coating of water!". After a long tiring wait of about 3 hours, it finally cleared up and they set out carrying a sufficient supply of plums. Two hours into there continued journey, the Mountain of the Goblins appeared larger and more evil filled, it appeared as if thousands of souls had suffered on that there mountain, and so the vision of it was more terrifying than any other. Silence was broken when Gera exerted..."Master!! See there, are they not Goblins?", "your eyes deceive you my son, they are but shadows of Goblins past, they are the Goblin Masters, Kings of distant past." Gera looked ashamed...there was a cloud that seemed to pass over his face, they walked on...in silence...But suddenly, if there was any silence on this earth now was the time that Gera and the Master practiced it, for in the distance they heard drums...The drums were not of natural sound, but a unearthly hollow but hugh pitched sound...they grew louder and louder, the beat became not slower but faster, and both travelers dropped to the ground lying as low as possible. The beat stopped. And for a moment, it seemed like there hearts stopped beating for fear of any sound alerting the possible danger that they were fearing, confused they were not a little, but this how ever was soon cleared up, when in the distance a distinct trample of feet was heard, and some language like there Gera's though it sounded strained twisted and tortured...never the less on they came and with fear in there eyes Gera and the master watched listened and waited...the sight they were both looking at was not a pretty one...there were about 15 or 20 of the bloody creatures and they with them walked a tall man...powerful both in how he held himself and in how the other Goblins seemed to bow before him...

The master seemed to be calculating in his head, but of what it equaled he did not say...what ever the reason, there was no time for Gera to ask, for there walking in there direction walked three Goblins...for a minute it seemed they were about to turned inside out and made a picnic of but about 5 meters away from where they lay, they stopped and one of them bent down and reached his hand down and pulled up something...well to Gera it seemed like something except that he couldn't see it...knew that the goblin was holding something he did, for there was an extra weight to its arm...all was revealed how ever when the "thing" in that the Goblin was holding became visible. The next few minutes were spent interrogating the Cloaca for so its name was. Though the only sound they could extract from this disheveled creature was a faint "hmmmm" of course these animals were completely and all otherwise dumb from head to toe, well, in all reality these creatures had no feet only a pair of stumps...Of course the Goblins had no ideah of these creatures ability to speak and so started getting frustrated...suddenly the tall powerful Goblin stepped forward, said some strange words and in his hand appeared as if from no where a black bladed spiked sword stained with blood. Gera and the Master watched, there hearts beating, as the giant Goblin with one sweep, killed the un-armed creature on the spot.

Immediately Gera's eyes grew red, and his hate for Goblins rose like a tower, a rush of energy and given a minute more he would have taken on all of them single handed, if it had not been for the Masters intervening that is...He clasped his arm on the boys shoulder and gave him a reassuring glance, and pulled out his wand...Gera knew what this meant...swords and sticks against Goblins was like water on a prairie fire...magic...was the one weapon that won battles...it was the object created to help the fragile race of there world. And well they knew it...

If ever there was a look of friendship...if ever there was a look of courage and strength and reassurance...it was now, the glance that they gave each other, was so powerful, none could match it.

There eyes grew red...

part 6 ends...

part 7 coming soon....

Larry Baldocks "new" pettion

2009-09-09T00:28:00.000-07:00

FIRE!!!

2009-09-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

I guess, as an opinion shared by others not just me, is that, play with fire is fun...it sends shots of adrenaline through your body as bombs explode, its dangerous, and whats best...its cheap...
The easiest bomb to put together is a Molotov...its as easy as pouring petrol in a bottle add a soaked rag...let her rip...and you have a nice big BOOOM!!! and lots of fire...which is what you wanted...in addition, get 6 Molotov's, put them in a circle, then in the middle, put a sparkler bomb...that's seriously kick butt...

Ok, but if you really want fire, smoke, and a big bang...do the following.

ok so you will need 3 plastic 600 mil coke bottles
and you going to need about 3 ltrs of petrol
ummm...yeah get about 2 ping pong balls
and get some tin foil
ok and your going to have to get hold of some black chalk
and some wire
ohh a string with petrol on it...lol

Ok so what you need to do, is fill all three coke bottles with petrol, share out about 1.5 ltrs between them all, ok then go get your ping pong balls, cut them up into small pieces.
Then go get about 20cm by 20cm of tin foil, and put the ping pong ball plastic into the middle, then put in about 1 table spoon of black chalk in with the ping pong. Now get tin foil put it on your hand, and then put your other thumb into the plastic in the middle of the sheet. Then wrap it around your thumb so it is in a tube. then slightly lessen the hole at the top, so when the smoke comes out, it goes out a bit slower...

Right, now go get your bottles of petrol. and put them in a circle (your gonna wanna blow this outside, otherwise your mom will kill you...then she will kill me for showing you how to do it...ok so you have the bottles in a circle, now go get the wire, and make a little holder so the smoke bomb can stand up right.

ok, now it should look like this... O o O the big circles are the bottles of petrol, the little
O

circle is the smoke bomb. Now go get you sparkler or your pettrol soaked string. Ok if get your string with petrol on it...lol!!! It should be about 60 centimeters long, link it up around the bottles...so that the string goes into the bottles and touches the petrol...OK, now we are ready.

IF YOU GO BLOW YOUR SELF UP, I'M NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY! THIS BOMB MAKING INTRO, IS FOR KNOWLEDGE USE ONLY!!! (well...and for a bit of fun ;) )

OK, go get a lighter, and hold it under the smoke bomb...then when it smokes like brimstone and sulfur, go light the string with petrol on it...lol!!! boom...

wait on...darn it!! that boom wasn't kwl enough...hang on...boom? BOOM? no way...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!

that's more like it ;)
have fun :)

The Demise Of Labour

2009-09-01T18:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it seems that we are going through the different political "villains", and this time...Its our old mate Labour who is going to get the smack with a wet bus ticket.

So first off the list, we've got the whole ordeal of, and I had better add, this is mainly about Helen Clark more than just the labour party...The Labour party themselves are pretty darn boring to talk about, so that is why I'm choosing Helen to yak on about, but for now...Down to the basics.

So first of all, back in march 1999 there was the issue of the "paintergate", (if your taking the time to read this you will probably all ready know the gist of this but to clear it all up, Il run you through).

If I went on trade me, and saw Megan Fox's hand bag on sale, and it was the real thing...(and if i was a million ere) i would buy it because it was owned by a celeb. Same as if I bought a painting done by our prime minister...(the only difference is, the painting wouldn't make it to my glass trophy case...) So what happened with this painting is this, lalala i want to get more money than Joe Blogs down the road, hey maybe a few thousand dollars, but how will i do it? The old wallet is getting abit light...HEY!!!! i know what to do, I'll get some random artist to do some art, then i'll sign her off as my own! I'm sure some Labour supporter will be wrapped to buy my "art"

And that's basically what she did...Except, she didn't think about the getting caught red handed (excuse the pun)

Well, if that's not enough dig this. Suppose, i wanted to get to a rugby game...and suppose, i had to get there quick...well, suppose i wanted to break the law, and speed my way through 206 kilometers of land to get toChch airport...Zooming along at a earth shattering speed of 128kph. Well, you would most likely agree that, its kinda stupid to do that, because even if you have Bobby Ricky behind the wheel, your endangering the lives of not yourself but others...But whats worse is, our former PM did it...yeah Helen Clark OK, and it took her only 96 minutes to travel 206km...whoa...Whats worse is that she says that she did not tell the driver to speed. Well, yeah, the prime minister probably wouldn't...wait on unless your blind and deaf and have no nerves in your body, well COME ON!!! traveling at 128k's an hour...you'd have to feel the drag aye...?

I feel as if i have exhausted the subject of publicly hanging her faults. ok let me some up what i have just said.

The "paintergate" issue, OK she "did it" for charity...? Errrr....no
she doesn't need to sell art to gather some doe and give it away. She has plenty of cash hanging around. Listen, the real only times important people give money away, is in front of the camera. Its usually a fabricated publicity stunt funded by the taxpayers! (ok I'm kidding not usually funded by us...but you get my point)

You heard about "telethon" ? Well to address the sick homosexual jokes that went on continuously, the whole thing about Mike McRoberts "wanting" John Campbell...and when John comes up and lays one on Mike -_- ewww...ok, if John wants to be "gay" I'm not going to stop him, but if he does it in front of the Camera, in front of New Zealand, ok John we ask...What is your problem? Ok, so that's one of the reasons im not "loving" Telethon, here is another...

Its Fabricated...Now don't get your stones to kill me, let me explain...I'm sure you have heard about the old old old saying, give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to fish, you feed him for a life time? Well, if you can stare me in the face, ok you cant stare me in the face....if you can stare into the screen, and tell me that giving a kid some food, a jacket, and a pair of shoes, is going to help them have better family's and make there pain go away...honestly, its like putting a bandade on a broken leg and telling the kid it will "be all right". Look, the wider causes of family break downs, and child abuse, and father and mother having relationship problems and all...its not going to help to try and kiss it better with this big show of a fund raiser. Its so FAIL factor...Like the whole...will we reach 1,000,000? And the whole...ooh jimmy put in 70 cents fantastic. If TV-3 really wants to set an example, cut out the gay jokes...ohh and if you hadn't picked up the jist of the end part of Telethon, where all the big businesses came in, so they could get more publicity, because that's most of the people who were watching would be watching...i bet ya they had a juicy fat check for $50,000 to make up for any money that they needed to make it to 1,000,000

OK, that's not exactly about Labour but it is i think relevant to what we are talking about.
well, ive finished talking about it all now, but just on a final not please click on these links.
Ok time to stop the negative talk. but I'll say again...you get my point.
ends........

National just went down the tube

2009-08-26T19:16:00.000-07:00

John Key's latest "stunt" ignoring the referendum, and 87.4% of the voters, and pretty much everything else...has jolly well screwed up (atm) my life and others around NZ...
Let me branch out my "opinion" and "explain" what i mean by "screwed up"

OK, so a few of years ago, we (my brother my sister me dad...mum) started collecting signatures...hey it wouldn't have been a big deal but as it was, it took 2 years to complete collecting 400k worth of signatures. So as you can imagine, it was hard...not fun at all...and we collected in rain, hail wind sun snow...well not snow...but you know what i mean, anyway, it took so long, and we knew that really nothing could really happen, but we did it coz we wanted to show that yes, reasonable force is not a criminal offence, yes over 83% of NZ agreed with us...OK, so i should mention that it was not just our family, it was 100's of people all over NZ out of all, maybe 10 were utterly committed . anyway we all thought, hey 100 people collecting 3000 signatures or 300 collecting 1000 signatures...how hard can that be...well...honestly, it was hard...anyway...moving on

So a few months back old Larry drove his kiwi party caravan up to the B-hive, and loaded off the box's...and box's...and box's of signatures. Yeah!!! Score....but hey what do you know...uh oh suddenly, whoops, Labour decides to have the referendum at another date...hmmm interesting...another $9,000,000 later, and it comes round. Most people vote except for those who found the multi choice YES or NO quite confusing...anyhow, 87.4% voters later, hmmm nothing happens, and John Boscowans bill is aloud a reading. Another CHEER!!! except, our old friend John Key, decides that he will pile some on this country and watch what happens...well, that's the main reason im...(ahem)...very...(ahem) annoyed at our...(ahem) "Honorable" Prime Minister John Key...

Anyhow, what would be really helpful would be if National really did drown itself...I mean seriously...so anyway, most of the 87.4% are very annoyed...why wouldn't you be? Anyhow, "this is all very vexing".

So i hope you have enjoyed this political "hogwash" that iv'e yarned on and on about for several hours...believe me, i enjoyed writing it more than you will reading it, but then i guess "its all part of the plan..." all this John Key ignoring this and ignoring that rubbish, who knows...maybe he will change his "mind" as though he is giving in, to give the impression that he is a gracious humble servant of the country...but after all he has done there is nothing, nothing he can do to what he has done and what he is doing, nothing at all to fix the problem he has gotten us into nothing at all...but if somehow he can win back the hearts of those annoyed at him, in such a way that we see him as a deserving pm forever...and that he is never the same again, but im telling you right now...i don't think that's going to happen.

ok, that's nearly enough said on this subject but i would like to close on this, my face book statas msg says that our pm is better than the last; In some respects yes, others no...look what he has done breaching the line of families, and digging his little toy digger into the ground of our relationship of our families...look what he did, whipping his party members into voting in his way...not what their conscience wanted...which is what is suposed to happen not this fake whipping that went on...and still does...anyway...

Thanks for reading...and please join this pledge, by simply writing this on ur myspace page bebo or facebook or blog as you so wish.

I, (your name here) will never vote for the New Zealand National Party, or any National Party candidate, in any future General Election in my lifetime, until the right of parents to responsibly smack their children is legally restored

-_- o.O

Michael Jackson's one gloved hands

2009-08-17T20:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it all ways looked cool to see the King of Pop wearing his glittering silvery glove, but the real question is, what was underneath it. There are of course photo's of Mj's "un-gloved" hand, but still the mystery of the glove halo's his head eternally.

So we know that he has had multiple skin grafts, face lifts, and who knows how many facials, sea weed baths, cucumber eye pads, and creams have touched his skin, (all these left his skin shining...well, maybe to shining for the human eye, its blinding) but behind the scenes of these beauty enhancers, is one thing that never left Michael Jackson...he is and all ways was and forever will be an African American.

pigmentation

So that covers the whole "Beauty" side of things, the health side, however, as you know

(or should know) sometimes Africans (African Americans and American Indians) have a skin problem, pigmentation which can last for months, years, life times, with inappropriate care. And that is what the before mentioned Michael Jackson had, so face lifts and skin grafts went in place bleachers plastic surgery and more...which left Jackson looking white and i might add unnaturally shiny, anyhow this is all leading up to his gloved hand.

So rumor has it that his face had more plastic on his face than skin, even his nose was removable, supposedly he had a whole brief case of noses that he would take with him, and when he got tired of one nose he would simply pull it out, and pop a new one in. SIMPLE!

So his gloved hand...well, as i have just mentioned, these beauty enhancers seem to play a HUGE role in his life, so when it comes to his hand, there are numerous propositions. Whether his hand was diseased or whether he had a prosthetic hand, or missing a finger, or maybe it was just fashion, no one...No one will ever know...

Remember in the Prestige, one of the Rivals rivals had his finger shot off, and following kindly shopped off the finger of his mate, well to cover this they wore a glove to hide the fact that there were two of them, anyhow, in this case it would not be to hide that there were two MJ's but to hide his lost finger. Anyway, as for the moonwalk, if you seriously think he is pulled by cables...your wrong, its not as hard as it looks but definitely not as easy as he makes it look. The only difference is...I can do it how he does it not how they do it...maybe not so smoothly as he does it but never the less, i can do it how he does it...Get it...*phew*

ends.........

2009-08-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

THE QUEST OF THE APPRENTICE

warning: This story is not for the faint of heart.

part 5

While the thoughts were flashing through his mind, the old Master was still standing there, as if getting pulled down into the squelching mud by a vladtearth was an everyday occurrence.
Mean while, Gera was struggling to figure out what spell to use but as he slowly sank further and further beneath the mud, he gradually gave up hope. The mud was up to his neck and his arms were hovering above his head, when just as the mud started to creep into his mouth he remembered that supposing he could use a fire ball spell he might be able to blast his way out, so pushing his hands into the mud he muttered a few words and then, the mud started bubbling and smoke billowed out into the air as each boom of the fire balls shook the ground. But inch by inch he rose up out of the mud gasping at each interval, and in a short time there he was, standing in front of the old Master, completely dirty and filthy and not to mention the smell which some what evaporated in a green like cloud of his very clothes as did the mud and the water. (I make mention that this evaporation of mud and stench was of magic origin it was not simply drying out...what spell was used for such i can not say but the happening of it is quite certain.) They walked on in silence, whether it was because they were thinking about the goings on of the days gone by or if it was the shaking experience of fighting all these evil creatures we will never know, but one thing is certain, Gera was feeling very comfortable due to his succeeding in the fight.

Then the Master broke the silence, "can you see it! there is...the mountain of the Goblins, a good 15 miles off at least" . It was about 5:00 at night and the son was setting, but something was in the air a sound much like a horn but duller and louder than any other...it seemed to be coming from the sky for it was a faraway sound, "Master" said Gera "that sound...what is it? i have heard it before though where I can not say...it troubles me not a little, this is the third time i have heard it...". "Well all we can do is wait and see, there seems no point in wondering but then curiosity is getting the better of me, here help me with this cloth". So doing the old Master laid out a pale read cloth, and Gera laid stones on the corners so as it would not blow away. "Now my boy, place your hands on the left and right of the cloth" Gera did this, saying nothing for he was not a little bemused, the old master placed his hands next to Gera's but not touching. "Gera, i need to make this clear' said the Master, "Do not let your hands touch mine, for this is a powerful spell not some clever trick, if our hands touch even i do not know what will happen." The master Began chanting some low voiced speech his head lifted high, then suddenly! A bright green blue light shone out of the cloth, and the wind that had remained still whirled around them, then the green light changed to red and, in the middle of the cloth and image appeared, of a machine glittering and golden, around it were creatures each holding a tube in there mouth, and each tube was attached to a HUGE barrel which was made of glass, and around this machine was a wall so high you couldn't see the top, then all of a sudden the cloth went dull and the wind stopped and all was quiet...

"Well Gera my young apprentice, it would seem that now we know what that sound was..."

said the Master, "so your saying that..." said Gera...there was a pause, then the Master spoke up "yes Gera, that machine was calling, that was the sound, it was calling all of goblin race, and i know why, they sense danger approaching oh yes, the have great ability in the area. But now we must move on, for if we are caught out here after dark, who knows what will happen." Then he folded the cloth and picked up his bundle, and on they went...after about an hours walk, they came to a tree of magnificent size, the best part about it, (apart from the fact that it was a 600 year old plum tree and covered in fruit) it had a giant hole in it about 1 and a half meters tall and 2 meters deep, it was quite clear that this would be there camp ground for the night, the climbed in, then Gera talk out his wand and drew a line round the hole, the line turned bright yellow, and it turned cloudy to the center, on the outside of the tree the hole was not to b seen, it was a something like a two way mirror, except that the outside part looked like tree bark.

It was after they had eaten many a plum, they fell fast asleep, they didn't even hear the Cirotopic (looks like a huge possum except without the fur) come up the tree only to find his hole was gone, so it went away, and i might add, fell into a well and drowned.

part 5 ends...

part 6 coming soon

The Quest Of The Apprentice

2009-05-15T22:10:00.000-07:00

warning: This story is not for the faint of heart.

After this ordeal, the Master felt a sudden draining of his strength, and slumped down in a weary state. Gera however was as lively as ever, because he had not used any magic, for as known to those wizards of old, the magical power of dark spells (to be used only on the race of madrak) drain ones strength to the point that if used to much, the physical mind can take only so much, will collapse in mind if not in body. But staying put was no option, so the Master heaved himself up and they very carefully made there way into the cave, and upon arriving in a safe spot, Gera lit a fire.

At five in the morning (when all dark beasts are asleep) they went on there way. Of course food for those of the magical realm, is no problem, and so at a sturdy pace, started out, for the cave of the Goblins!It started to get dark as they approached the bank of the river nintura-diagria, it was a massive length from one side to the other...and for any human to try, was not possible; But for dark arts magicians is a mere lime barrier, for to cross the river, time must be stopped for the duration of the crossing, as they would need to "sweep" a path through the water itself to make a dry passage way for the crossing.

Of course it would not be so tricky if they were not accompanied by a horse and a pony. So muttering magic words and waving his hands in the air, he let out a a breath, which became a loud hiss, which in turn became a muffled scream which seemed to shake the ground on which they stood. Suddenly a blue light shone from the sky, and then everything stood still not a breath of wind not a rush off water nothing. "Now then my young apprentice", said the old master, "here is your chance to show me your skills in the art of magic, now then, cast the spell, and divide the water in two so that we may cross over". So with a sweep of his wand he cried "bestrow cothra eratista" (meaning not known to those of this race) and then with a flash, instead of a division in the water, it went solid. "Well well..." said the master, "if you haven't killed the fish in that stream, you have definitely stunned them...", "well, i did try" said Gera, "but I suppose that is the extent of my power" he said with a sad voice...
"Now listen to me Gera!" said the master in a stern voice, " the path to commanding magic and knowing the extent of the power you can exhort, is only to be found by, Mastering the art, Administering punishment to those who defy you, Gain confidence, Intrege others with your skill so the may respect and learn from your way of life, Consider your options, for if you rush into magic, you may find that it will harm you in more ways than one, these my Son are the 5 most useful guide lines for the way you work. Now let me see you divide that water...but remember...focus, and believe you can do it." With these words in mind Gera went up to the river, cast a spell on the river so that it dried up, and with eyes closed chanted the spell, and with a silent rush of water, it divided in two.

"My son said the master, you have listened well to my words," and with that, he made his way down to the river bed. They walked at a steady pace, until suddenly, Gera let out a gasp, for there coiled round his leg like a viper was a vladtearth, now these evil creatures are known for there eternal lust for blood, and fresh flesh, they are about twice the size of a cow when full grown, but live usually under the mud surface...And it was because of this that Gera stood completely still, scared stiff by the purple tentacle that sucked to his leg. He was very alarmed, firstly because of the creature, secondly, the old master was simply standing there...looking tired, then he understood, it was a challenge, a challenge that he was to face alone. he closed his eyes to think, but only for a moment, the grip on his leg got tighter, and was pulling him down...Down into the deep deep whirl pool of black evil smelling mud...he would drown, choke on the mud, choke to death...then what would happen to his Fiance? His family, the master, the Book!!!

2009-03-25T18:41:00.000-07:00

The Quest Of The Apprentice

part 3...

warning: this story is not for the faint of heart.

And there he was, as large as life standing before him - but not as Gera had remembered him, he was no longer just an old magical arts master. He was mightier in the face and the power of his skill in the dark arts seemed to shine from his face. "So Gera Ogwich," said the old master, "I have found you at last. I would have come much more hastily had I not known the extent of your training, but I knew that to accompany you in the first league of the journey would have been unhelpful to you. I decided that you needed more time to think about your actions before you had company." By this time Gera was utterly speechless, but after a moment or two he managed to splutter: "w-wh-who, whhhhhyyy, h-h-how did you get here?" "My lad," said the master, "this is not the time to speak. We shall talk later, for we must depart from this forsaken place. The goblin I killed is no doubt to be found out, and like blood hounds they will track us, and will not stop till we are dead. At this point Gera was enlivened to the extent that he felt an almost Adrenalin Rush, to get the book back from the goblins. "Master, you do not know how encouraged I am to have you here. All the time I have been travelling, the only thing to keep me from going mad with the monotonous walking and riding was to think over the spells and chants that you taught me, but what I long for most is to see my dear Athnea. It has been seven or more months since I saw her last - To say nothing of my family and friends."

"My son," said the old man, "I can understand how you must be feeling, but to express your emotions in so open a manner is not how a man of the "arts" should act." He sighed deeply. "I, too, am heavy with anxiety for my loved ones, but I have accepted this mission that is now on our hands, and I feel it is our duty to accomplish it, therefore complaining is not an option." It was with difficulty that Gera accepted this but, he knew it was reality and so to disregard it was to disobey the realm of wizards and the magic that surrounds them. So without any more comments, they made off in the direction of a cave, about 70 meters away...

On approaching the cave they heard a low pitched gurgling sound, as if a fish was drowning in oil. They halted, then said the master: "Son, you wait here, for whatever is in that cave is after a meal, not a greeting." " But sir, it is not wise to go in alone, it is not wise for anyone to enter!" "My young lad, do you doubt my power? No it is better that I go in alone, for I would not suffer a boy barely 20..." As the master entered the gurgling grew into a low pitched moan. Suddenly out of the gloom lurched a gigantic Morc-reeva (a kind fire breathing Lizard, which for its abbility, is very small, the size or a cat almost) but there it was large as life snarling at the master, and before Gera knew what was happining they were in a bloody battle with the monster...Spitting fire like a fiend, it tore in and out of cracks in the rocks, and even with the powers of the master, they could not bring it down. Till that is when Gera by chance happened to throw a rock at it wich for a brief moment brought it back down to earth, where upon the master jumed upon it and siezed it, cast some freakish spell over it (the spells meaning is that of the ancient Motireans, and can not be translated) in a trice the beast lay over on its side breathing, it seemed to be peacefull with out fear...

Part 3 ends...

part 4 coming soon...

2009-03-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

When did creepy lavatory paper coated piles of dust ever become known as 'tea"

Why do so many tea drinkers use only teabags? How did the little bits of dust wrapped in lavatory paper "creep" in? Tea made in a cup or mug with a tea bag is nasty. We live in an age where many of us would "die" if we were deprived of our "high-quality" coffee. Some allege that it is as difficult to be a good barista-an occupation unknown to our ancestors, but obviously a high calling-as it is to be an All Black. Yet at the same time that we worship coffee, we pay less attention to good home brewed tea.
If you simply must use teabags then at least use them in a teapot, for a tea made in a teapot tastes better and goes further...

these views are not my own...they are simply here for fun...
i take no credit what so ever for the writings here...thankyou for reading

Joke...

2009-03-23T22:51:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Lawson was sitting at her desk quietly filling out her annual Q. and A. form (about who she thought should get elected as PM) when she heard her son Jake crying, "hey big fella whats the matter" she calmly asked..."I hit myself with a book" he answered sulkily, "ah" replied Mrs. Lawson "when did that happen" she asked curiously, "1/2 an hour ago." Was the slow response. "But how come I did not hear you crying then? " "Well" he said "I thought you were out"

interestingly enough...this is a continuous problem with kids...this is not directed at anyone mind...i found it in a joke book and re-wrote it...

2009-03-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

this is a short video of a fire works car me and my brother lit up...so to speak...
ummm...its basicly a toy car with a bunch of exploseives strapped top it...Go the fire bugs!!!

2009-02-13T17:38:00.000-08:00

The Quest Of The Apprentice

part 2 continued...

warning: this story is not for the faint of heart

Gera had been fighting for nearly 15 minutes, 15 minutes of full on bloody battle with a loffer, thankfully he was not injured save a flesh wound on his right arm where the loffer had been biting.
"Now" he thought, back in training I learnt that loffers were like wasps, if you find one then there is all ways a pack somewhere close. To finish them off would make it easier for other travellers, of whom there were few who would dare come this far. But as far as he was concerned he had had enough. After a few hours rest to regain his strength, he set out again pulling along his half fear stricken pony, who every now and again, Gera whispered magic words of calming and comfort, to help ease the load of the poor beast. Gera was, without doubt, at least within 100 miles of the Goblins lair, for the smell was not a pretty one. It is said to be so powerful (when close enough) that to the untrained would cause them to vomit. But thankfully Gera knew of ways to stop the smell from entering his body, thus protecting him and helping him on his journey. When he had been traveling for about two and a half hours it was nearing the time of darkness, when if unprotected and hidden, was more dangerous than if you were in a room full of full grown bereggas (a type of four legged snakes that breath pure siotene-or otherwise known in the primitive English tongue, "cyanide") .

It was obvious that shelter was needed, otherwise his Quest would be of no use...another words "he be dead". With a wave of his wand, and at the same time muttering under his breath, "lavista mar cotaia" (magic words that normal people can not understand) and before him a cloud of dust and dirt was swept up before him and on the ground in front of him was a map, revealed by magic, of fifty miles radios of where he stood, on it showed up any forms of life ranging from Goblins to centacks (a kind of insect that inflicts its enemy with poison, which without treatment would kill a human in minutes. suddenly it cleared away and then reappeared, it had, it seems, refreshed itself for now the circle with an arrow in it, an indication of where he was, showed a big form of life, only meters away..."darn" he thought, "I should have looked at this map with my back to a rock face or something, not out in the open like this. But here his thoughts were cut to a freakish halt. For, as he turned around he saw nothing less than, a Goblin!!! What will become of me he wondered, but his thoughts were not timely place for when he looked back to where the Goblin was..."wait" he cried "what on earth magical has happened here" for in the Goblins place was no other than his old master.
Suddenly the old man whipped out his wand, Gera had never seen it before, it was made of silver and it gleamed in the moonlight. Then the man shouted "get down lad" and with a flash from the wand sent a bolt of lightning over Gera's head narrowly missing it by inches. when he looked up he turned round, and there 2 meters away was a Goblin soldier made to kill feel no pain and eat less than he spoke, another words, the Goblin was giant.

part 2 ends...

part 3 coming soon...

by Nathan Moore

2009-01-28T18:59:00.000-08:00

Goblins-The quest of the apprentice

part 2

GOBLINS-The Quest Of The Apprentice...

Warning: this story is not for the faint of heart.

part 2

...when it landed it was but 5 meters. Gera had to act quickly...He knew how fast and to the "neck" (point...) they were he thought about what spells worked best, for a moment he thought that the spell "ondrokti-cortassa" would be the most powerful, (it would make the enemy catch on fire...) but then he remembered that in training, attackers and animals could, with not much effort, dodge the spell that was being cast...But no sooner than he had finished thinking about the spell...The loffer pounced, it was not that big, for a loffer, but Gera had never fought one before, and it had a firm grip on Gera's right arm, the arm in which he was holding his wand!!!
Five minutes into the fight, saw Gera and the loffer struggling at the top of a cliff face, with a sheer drop two meters away...He knew what he had to do...he muttered a magic word or two and his wand came flying into his hand, he shouted as loud as he could "Berass-morka" the loffer instantly turned into stone and hurtled down the cliff, if Gera had waited for only a moment, he to would have followed the loffer to the bottom.

part 2 ends half way, will be completed later...

sorry for any inconveniences

Goblins-The quest of the apprentice

2009-01-27T21:47:00.000-08:00

part 1

GOBLINS-The Quest Of The Apprentice...

it was...no he could not remember what day it was...or what month...for Gera ogwich had been walking for months through, what seemed an endless forest...as he was walking his thoughts drifted back...back to when all his troubles started. It began with the book.

it was a foggy rainy -14c day...And old john wissler was thrashing his "Apprentice" who had purposefully misplaced a book...A book of Goblins...This book you see was all ways kept in a chest
to guard the village from the before mentioned Goblins! But now that the apprentice had removed it...The Village was now in great peril. You realise this was no ordinary book...it had within its self the power to withhold goblins from coming within 100 miles of it, thus protecting the village from the evil murderous...GOBLINS...

Warning: this story is not for the faint of heart.

part one.

"Where is it you clumsy fool!" yelled the thin boney fingered white haired Master, "I know ya took it." "allright" the boy yelled "I took it...And what if I did...I was given good money for it...And ain't you all ways tell'en me how hungry you are?" there was a pause then, "(in a quiet voice) you what?" the old man said "I told ya all ready...I sold it" then the old man spoke, "was it a beggar man then, that you sold it to?" "no of course not that would be stupid, beggars don't 'ave "good" money then do they?" (another pause) "then" said the old man, "was it by mere chance a man dressed in a green vest with all manner of bottles hangin of 'imm and covered with a blood red cape, and in one hand holding a jar and in the other a staff with wot looks like a goat carved in stone on the handle?" then the boy spoke...in a way you or I have never heard. "y-yeesss....yes it was, but how did you no?"

"my son" he said "the man you sold the book to, was...a Goblin, those bottles hanging on his vest were potions so strong that they could let the goblin wearing them get close to the book and touch it...carry it away so far that to get to it is so dangerous that you would die before you came ten miles radius of the place where it was hidden...and now as a wizards apprentice...and as you are responsible, you no what you have to do...

Here Gera stopped thinking, he thought about the supplies he had with him, (he had done this many times)

a bottle of fluid to dissolve the book of goblins with 1 wand
the ashes of his father in a box around his neck 1 cloak
1 sword 15 packets of dried bread
1 pocketknife 1 book of spells
a bunch of miscellaneous herbs and dried flowers 3 carrier pigeons (he had 5 but 2 died)
and a selection of bits and bobs in his pockets 1 horse
1 staff

but here he stopped there was a noise in front of him...what was it?
he pulled out his wand. he walked up to his horse that had been walking in front of him...the noise stopped..."darn" he thought "it was only the horse" but the noise started again...And then, out of the clearing should come nothing else than a "loffer".
Now these beasts were so blood thirsty that if let loose in the wrong way...They would kill you...and of course eat you...
The loffer approached...It was snarling savagely...quickly Gera whipped out his wand...And then the Loffer jumped, it was in fact at least 30 yards away...but when it landed it was but 5 meters.

...to be continued

Gettin smart with the law...part 2

2008-09-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

"Look we've had a tough day alright, so just come quietly, and you'll come to know harm" said the ever tiring coppers. "Look guys" replied Kitik, "Push off!", Man this isn't even yo' land, so Git!."
"Alright" Screamed the desperate cops, " now you be quiet put your hands on your head, say "lord strike me dead if I...", "HEY" roared Kitiki Phano, " I am Nitahu kaotera whutai-phi-phi on kato tiki wi wi huntio taka waka paka daka maka tuka...so basically , if you touch a hair on my nose...you will be guilty of whuki-wiroa-tiki-wi-siroa..." "SILENCE" thundered the policemen as they started pulling out cudgels, "get your head on the ground right this instant, or else...uh...well..." at this moment they paused, they had been been doing there best to seem well educated and powerful but now everything they could have said, they had said.

"Now then" they said, still grasping for the right words to say, "you just come along with me and my honorable partner willy or else we'll..." here they stopped, they knew only to well that they could be put in prison for a minimum of 6 years for breaking the tapu of the well being of any well know Maori..."Yes" said Kitiki "you were saying...alright I'll tell you...

you are to horribly poor cops waiting for a promotion, and to fill in the time and possibly get a higher upgrade, you decided to get someone into trouble say they were killing someone, saw me, picked me as an excellent target, and now...this is where its at..." the two coppers were stunned..."could this man be some sort mind reader? No! thats crazy..." but crazy or not Kitiki had really guessed what they were doing and at this the cops reversed there steps and walked home (remember there car was smashed up by the log truck in part 1.) And so once again, now that he was left in peace, proceeded to chuck the kids that remained in to the Waimakariri.

THE END

...BUT DON'T WORRY THERE WILL BE MORE!!!

Gettin smart with the law...

2008-09-21T21:45:00.000-07:00

With a one, and a two, and ahhhh...THREE!. It was a 34 degree day and old Kitiki-phano was grinning as he constantly hurled 15 to 16 year olds into the Waimakariri, it was as his ancestors had told him the traditional way of teaching young lads to swim...of course the lads agreed to it...they had to, if ever they were going to become chiefs.

Suddenly, a couple of coppers approached him, "Now then sir, just what in the heck do you think Your doing?", "well" replied Kitiki "what do ya think it looks like?", "ALL RIGHT!" the cops shouted "we'll have none of your cheek" "Too right you wont" answered Kitiki "its mine, and I would'nt look so hot if it was took, aye?". Now by this time the policemen were getting prtetty fired up..."now you look 'ere you jis put your hands up, or else we"ll hafta use "un-reasonable force, d'hear". "Ohh look" said Kitiki "would ya push off, its my flippin job...anyway do'nt ya have a "car" to attend to?".

For you see the cops had parked on the bridge and as there was no real room for parking, after a while a huge log truck picked it up droped half into the river and took the other half along with it. "Darn!" exclaimed the cops "flippin heck" "now what", "Well, I'll tell you what!" roared Kitiki "if you do'nt stop shoutin at me for teachin kids to swim...which is more than I can say for you..." he whispered, "Ill chuck you in after the kids...". "ALL RIGHT" they shouted again "and just who do ya think you are?", "well...Ill tell ya...My name is Kitiki-ano-fitoto-whakatiro-ero-tikoto-ficino-takatito-uno-fantar..." "doh Shut up" moaned the cops "we know all that...". "ahh" said Kitiki "then why did you ask".

To be continued...

Representing Deutschland

2008-09-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Steve told us about these kewl video adverts for VWs

also watch these two vids: video 2 and video 3

Stories and wierd events

2008-09-03T00:24:00.000-07:00

This Time I Went To The...

Well this time I went to the park and it so happend that I had a few cans of paint, so seeing a nice fresh wall I desided to do some art...a skill I rarely use...So, after a couple of shots at making my mark, as it was a 30 degree day i stopped to light a fag...

then as if that was not enough...after such a heavy dose of nicotine I started to feel suicidal, therefore ending my time on this accursed ground... Ok this was really just a few pics taken at the park so no worrys about suicide.

Shocking words!!!

2008-08-28T00:53:00.000-07:00

So I'm in my mums room right, and I'm check in out the net a bit an I come across this thing called "Dobbynn your Dad",o.k so you have to find some embarrassing story about your dad...so generally especially in the presence of mum, but no the last thing i would expect..."hey why don't you do that could be fun..." says mum...now usually mum is a more serious person and so I was "rather moved" nah...so then we started to devise an "untrue'' story but coming up with nothing mum then suggested that we wait for Andy (my bro) to get up as he was "more full of ideas".

So there we go thats some of the madness that goes on in our house...

2008-04-18T01:17:00.001-07:00

My sis and I made this sweet pic on the footpath YEAH! The land of the whale, dood how patriotic can you get. This pic was drawn at about 9:30pm
ant the picture was taken at about 10:25.

2008-04-18T01:06:00.001-07:00

This cool pic is of me after had gone fishing the Manakau harbor awesome fun aye :( it was like sliding down a cliff face in your shorts! really the water was like concrete but it was an awesome.